Story Sent in by Claire:
Seamus took me out for a quick coffee with the promise that he had something "really adventurous" planned for a post-coffee activity. He hurried us through drinks and then led me a few blocks away to a row of nice suburban houses. One of them had some tall shrubs and within those shrubs was a...
"Beehive?" I asked.
In response, Seamus picked up a rock and threw it at the beehive. We both tore away as fast as possible.
He said, "Good thing you caught up. Those things sting."
I screamed a string of expletives that all basically boiled down to, "What the hell is wrong with you?"
He replied, "I promised you excitement and adventure. How many first dates make you take your life in your hands?"
I said, "None! Because first dates shouldn't do that!"
He said, "You've had some lame first dates, then," and then jogged back up towards the hive, picked up another rock, and ran away from the angry bees. He flew past me, yelled, "C'mon!" over his shoulder, but I was done with this jackass. I hurried back to my car and drove away.
I'm surprised this guy was smart enough to get dressed in the morning without help. How in the hell did he manage to set up a dating profile on a website without a freaking brain?
ReplyDeleteI come to this site for the comments, which are often more fun than the dates. I miss the regulars who seem to have vanished in the wake of being asked for money. I'll gladly pay money if the hilarious commenters come back. :)
ReplyDeleteI miss them too Jill. I can only play with my balls alone for so long before getting bored.
DeleteWhere's banana?
DeleteI didn't mean to disappear... I just moved and am now finally settled. I feel bad boo
DeleteI'll let you off. Been quiet myself: got a proper job (interminable hours and little money and shed loads of responsibilities) instead of part time stuff (little hours for even less money, but no responsibilities)!
DeleteSeamus, you say?
ReplyDelete