8/31/2017

Who Does Number Three Work For?

Story Sent in by Fred:

I was looking forward to my first date with Marie and we made pretty simple plans to just go for a walk and maybe sit down with a coffee or whatever. I sat down on a park bench and waited for her to arrive.

When she showed, she hurried right by and said, "Hey Fred good to meet you follow me to Dunkin's."

I had little choice but to follow. She breezed into a nearby Dunkin' Donuts and ordered the biggest iced coffee they had. She asked me if I wanted anything and when I went to pay she insisted on paying, herself. I thanked her and watched as she guzzled down her entire drink before we even sat down.

She explained, "I have to pee three times before we do anything else."

I asked, "Why?"

She said, "It's tradition. 'If you pee thrice, your date is nice.' You never heard that?"

I hadn't. It sounded pretty dumb. When I tried to have any kind of conversation with her she kept grabbing more iced drinks, sucking them down, and running back and forth to the bathroom.

After around a half-hour of awkwardness, she returned to the table with a big smile and said, "That was number three! I'm ready, now."

The rest of the date was all right I guess, but she kept having to go to the bathroom and it just became ridiculous. She spent more time in bathrooms than with me. So we didn't go out again.
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10 comments:

  1. Ben Lapointe8/31/2017 3:39 AM

    "'If you pee thrice, your date is nice.' You never heard that?"

    Is there anyone here who heard that one? Anyone? Yes? No? Peeing thrice, date nice? Anyone? [Tumble weed rolls past]

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ben Lapointe8/31/2017 3:46 AM

      Thinking about it though, there might be some basis to it... Since peeing is normally occuring at regular intervals, if one goes to the bathroom three times during any given date, assuming one ingested a normal amount of liquid, it implies that the date lasted a fairly long time, which in turn suggests that the two people on the date had a good time and enjoyed each other's company...

      Delete
    2. The Architect8/31/2017 7:27 AM

      Actually, that does make a lot of sense BL.

      Delete
    3. Steve8/31/2017 8:53 AM

      But your scenario is peeing DURING the date. Her idea was peeing BEFORE the date...

      Homegirl should have just worn a Depends.

      Delete
    4. The Architect8/31/2017 9:49 AM

      *Eating dinner together*
      Her: .....*smiling*
      Him: Are you OK?
      Her: This date is going to be great. I can FEEL it.
      Him: Do you smell urine?

      Delete
    5. JMG8/31/2017 10:16 AM

      "By the one-hundredth pee, married you shall be!"

      Delete
    6. Ben Lapointe8/31/2017 12:50 PM

      That's about 15 days...

      Delete
    7. Tourist of Life8/31/2017 9:38 PM

      For a while I was dating a woman who was prone to getting UTIs. Her doctor told her to pee right before and right after having sex, so that's what she would do.
      Maybe there could have been a saying like "For an evening to end nice, you should pee twice" or "For a night of fun, go twice number one"
      I can't think of a reason to go thrice, unless she was into that sort of thing.

      Delete
    8. Ben Lapointe9/01/2017 3:31 AM

      Wow. Gross.

      Delete
  2. The Architect8/31/2017 7:26 AM

    If you pee once, your date is a ponce. If you pee twice, your date is.....um......nice?

    ReplyDelete

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