7/14/2017

Imagine the Panel Discussions

Story Sent in by Don:

I took Paige out to dinner. We had a mundane conversation up until she finished her dinner completely. There was nothing left on her plate and she said proudly, "I'm in the clean plate club!" like she was a five-year-old.

"Good for you," I said.

She then pulled a folded piece of paper out of her pocket and unfolded it. It was a certificate that had her name and said, "Clean Plate Club." There was a signature line on the certificate that said "Witness" beneath it. She handed it to me with a pen and said that she had one for every day of her life.

I signed off on her certificate and she took it back with a big smile. She said, "You should think about joining. There are great membership perks."

"Like what?"

"Like being full. And the annual meetings with other platers. The lifelong bonds we develop are extraordinary. This year's convention is in Vegas."

"Uh-huh."

"Clean Plate Club!"

"Great."

That was our only date.
Posted by at
Labels: ,

11 comments:

  1. Megan 7/14/2017 6:40 AM

    This hardly qualifies as a bad date, OP. And at the worst, this girl is socially conscious and not wasteful. What a nice quality in another human being! You missed out on a cool girl. Sounds like you wanted a boring person. Personally, I would have thought the whole thing was quirky and hilarious. But that is good I guess for her- she found out that you are boring.
    But for next time, bad dates are when people actually behave badly, or something beyond your control that is bad happens (such as bathroom issues and whatnot), not when they are merely slightly more eccentric than you are used to.
    I think you should call her up and give her another chance!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Architect7/14/2017 7:46 AM

      Bananas would totally give her another chance!

      Delete
    2. Unknown7/14/2017 10:22 AM

      can confirm: already dating Paige page out to dinner next week. I'm looking forward to joining the clean plate club!

      Delete
    3. Unknown7/14/2017 10:23 AM

      OK what did my phone do to that comment??

      shall I reiterate?

      can confirm: already taking Paige out for dinner next week. I'm looking forward to joining the clean plate club!

      Delete
    4. Steve7/14/2017 1:42 PM

      If only she had a certificate from the "Not-a-dinner-wh0re Club!"

      Delete
    5. Megan 7/15/2017 7:54 AM

      Ok, give us an update and tell us how it went! And if you cleaned your plate....
      This would not work in China. In China, if you clean your plate, your host thinks you want more, and will give you another full plate.

      Delete
  2. The Architect7/14/2017 7:50 AM

    *OP visits Paige's home*
    OP: Oh, didn't think you were serious about having one of those certificates for every day of your life. And you....had them all framed?

    Paige: These are only the ones from my favorite meals. *gestures to a house with every wall covered in framed certificates* The rest I keep in several storage units.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown7/14/2017 11:36 AM

      She's SpongeBob! 367 CONSECUTIVE employee of the month plaques!

      Delete
  3. ladydyani7/14/2017 9:21 AM

    My kids were part of the Clean Plate Club in the early aughts, until I told my Mother-in-Law to stop making them eat if they weren't hungry.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ben Lapointe7/14/2017 2:43 PM

    Good appetite and clean plate... Your loss OP, your loss...

    ReplyDelete
  5. Anonymous7/16/2017 8:57 AM

    It's actually a real thing. Sort of. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clean_Plate_Club

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

Content Policy

A Bad Case of the Dates reserves the right to publish or not publish any submitted content at any time, and by submitting content to A Bad Case of the Dates, you retain original copyright, but are granting us the right to post, edit, and/or republish your content forever and in any media throughout the universe. If Zeta Reticulans come down from their home planet to harvest bad dating stories, you could become an intergalactic megastar. Go you!

A Bad Case of the Dates is not responsible for user comments. We also reserve the right to delete any comments at any time and for any reason. We're hoping to not have to, though.

Aching to reach us? abadcaseofthedates at gmail dot com.