Story Sent in by Sidney:
Vanessa had big hips. That's not a knock against her. It's a fact. Indeed, she mentioned it herself, "I know my hips are big. Let's get that out of the way," she said in the first couple of minutes.
I wasn't going to mention anything about it. She was cute and seemed funny and it didn't much matter to me how big her hips were. But she wouldn't let it go.
"I bet I could fit five or six kids inside my uterus. Look out, Octomom," she joked.
That was just excellent. I looked forward to talking about something unrelated to her hips but she kept drawing attention to them. When we walked she said, "It doesn't matter how much walking I do: I'll always have these hips!" When we ate: "This chicken's going straight to my hips!" When we walked again: "I don't know why we keep walking. It's not like it's going to affect my hips!" And when we sat down: "I really shouldn't be sitting. I should be working on my hips!"
She finally said, "I hardly ever get a second date from guys. Probably because of my big hips!"
I broke in, "Maybe it's because you don't stop talking about them?"
She said, "What are you talking about? I've barely mentioned them at all. Ooh, I shouldn't have done all that walking. My hips are so sweaty!"
Only date.
I'm just picturing her walking with you down the street and the "boom schak-a-lacka boom schak-a-laka" music playing. Which of course starts and stops when she does. Could swear I saw that in a movie somewhere.
ReplyDeleteAlternate story title for Throwback Thursday: Hip to be Square
Mouths get people in trouble every fn time
ReplyDeleteAm I the only one annoyed that the chick can't count?
ReplyDelete"I bet I could fit five or six kids inside my uterus. Look out, Octomom," she joked.
Five or six kids is still less than what the OCTOmom popped out, which I assume by the name OCTOmom, were eight.
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