Story Sent in by Maegan:
On our last date, William and I went on a hike. He said he'd bring all the water so I didn't have to worry about bringing any.
After a half hour of strenuous hiking I asked him for some water. He turned to me and said he'd give it to me if I performed a certain oral act on him behind a nearby rock pile.
I told him I'd take my chances in the wilderness and made my way back. He followed me for a bit, telling me I'd never find my way back by myself and trying to convince me of the wisdom of his plan. He stopped trailing me after a while and I was thankfully able to find my way back to the parking lot.
I would've carried my own water anyway. I wouldn't trust someone to carry all the water.
ReplyDeleteThis. Always. What if the one bottle was innocently spilled?
DeleteThis is downright sinister!
ReplyDeleteShe should have turned that around on him:
ReplyDelete"It's a shame you don't want to share that water with me. Us, being out here in the wilderness all alone and everything. I mean, how well do you even know me? Not even as well as my last boyfriend *under breath but just audible: god did he scream when I gutted him*. I mean, you haven't even seem my collection of human teeth! Now...how about you share that water so I don't... have to add to my collection?"
Oh, Archie if you post more creepy serial-killer-esque stuff and I'll be your tribute account and change my name to Archie Girl...oh wait, we have her. T'was the Stever nobody loves =p Just kidding.
DeleteBut what was the " wisdom of the plan"? Is that warm mouth pee?
ReplyDeleteAfter a hot,sweaty hike? Yeah, classy guy.
ReplyDeleteShit like that is why you should carry mace.
ReplyDeleteBecause of the implication.
ReplyDelete