Story Sent in by Windy:
Ari thought it would be fun to take me out to a picnic in a park, underneath a big tree. There was an awful smell there (like something had died) and I asked him if we could move the picnic elsewhere. He insisted that it had to be under that tree.
I asked him why, as the park had dozens of other trees. He said that that tree was good luck for him because he had taken the virginity of three girls under it. I lost my appetite but he ate his lunch, asked me if I was going to eat mine, I told him I wasn't, and then he ate mine, too.
He then tried to get me to make out with him but the bad smell and his story about what he had done at the tree grossed me out enough to not go through with it. That was our only date. To this day I have no idea what that smell was or what might have died under that tree.
Maybe you could've used your powers to blow the bad smell away. Lol. And then done him under the tree
ReplyDeleteYour username and comment make me imagine a giggling 9-year-old playing on dad's computer.
DeleteI should write a book for men listing all the conversation topics which girls don't want to hear about, that freaks them out or that make one look like an absolute twat.
ReplyDeleteAnswers to the 2 questions posited in the last sentence of this story:
ReplyDelete1. The girls he murdered and buried there.
2. You.
I think the smell was the death of Ari's dignity.
ReplyDelete#truth
DeleteGotta love the smell of rotting hymens...
ReplyDeleteAll I can think is that Ari is clearly a cousin and/or massive fan of Bob Ross.
ReplyDeleteHappy little trees.
DeleteWell....There went an hour of my life I'll never get back and twisted a beloved TV icon that I'll never look at in the same way again. Thanks for that Archie Girl.
Delete"Windy" and "Ari"? ISWYDT
ReplyDeleteHey, those are perfectly legitimate names you know you shouldn't- Bahahaha!! oh man, I almost had it! I just couldn't stay serious through the whole thing.
DeleteRotten cherries?
ReplyDeleteDurian
ReplyDelete