2/23/2017

To Watch a Certain Movie With a Certain Horse, Perhaps?

Story Sent in by Charlotte:

Jeff invited me over to his place for a movie night. He made dinner and popcorn and we settled down to watch... Batman and Robin. I instantly realized that he probably didn't mean for us to watch it so much as he likely wanted to make out during it - which was fine with me.

But he didn't! Jeff remained spellbound by the film the entire time! I even put my hand on his leg at one point but he didn't do anything to indicate that he was interested in anything other than George Clooney, Chris O'Donnell, Alicia Silverstone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Uma Thurman. He stared open-mouthed at the action and one-liners.

I asked him, "Are you seriously watching this?"

He said, "Shh!"

So I stayed and actually watched the whole thing with him. Once it was done (including the entire end credits) he turned it off, shut off all the lights in his place, went into his bedroom, and closed the door.

I guessed that meant we weren't dating anymore for some reason and so I left. I was surprised to hear from him afterward, asking me if I wanted to return for another movie night. I politely declined.
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15 comments:

  1. Unknown2/23/2017 4:48 AM

    This is a nice story. I like batman and robin. It's so bad it's good. He was rude to just leave though. I wouldn't go out w/ him again either

    ReplyDelete
  2. MelSleeps2/23/2017 7:17 AM

    I have this movie as well as the other Batman movies on dvd so I can't honestly say I'm more surprised that Jeff had this on dvd then by anything.I believe this was a test and that OP Failed.Asking a guy"Are you seriously watching this?"is like asking him"Are you done yet?"Jeff decided not to award OP that night with the pleasures of riding the chunky horse all night long.But then he had a change of heart and decided to give Op one more chance with a viewing of"Star Trek V:The Final Frontier".But Op sensed what was in store for her and decided that Jeff was being too much of a dicktator in the relationship.So she gave him the shaft since he didn't...

    ReplyDelete
  3. Steve2/23/2017 8:18 AM

    Welp, at least it wasn't The Godfather III...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MelSleeps2/23/2017 9:02 AM

      Just when I thought I was out,Steve Pulls me back in.

      Delete
  4. Unknown2/23/2017 8:48 AM

    I actually love that movie too. It's the type of movie you love but feel just a tad ashamed that you love. Those bat nipples.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. MelSleeps2/23/2017 9:00 AM

      That codpiece,those Riddler tights...but bad puns galore that I can add to any conversation.Op lacked bat logic and so like Poison Ivy her garden was not tended.Still,nothing can top duck boobs from "Howard The Duck".

      Delete
    2. The Architect2/23/2017 10:00 AM

      Uhh, the Riddler was Batman Forever with Val Kilmer thank you very much. Just as bad though with lines like "Holy rusted metal Batman!" "What?" "It's rusted metal, and it's holy."

      Also, you mean duck breasts, which are a real thing or so Howard would have me believe.

      Delete
    3. MelSleeps2/23/2017 12:29 PM

      Wow,and I rarely get movies confused or breasts confused with boobs.My bat logic is failing me.What's the difference between rusted metal and rusted metal?

      Delete
    4. The Architect2/23/2017 4:06 PM

      The joke was that back in the old tv show, Robin would always say things like "Holy Human Surfboards Batman!" to the great amusement of 10-year-olds everywhere. They threw that joke into the Batman Forever movie as a nod to the old tv show. The joke is that Robin always said Holy.... as an exclamation but in the movie, the metal he is describing actually has holes in it thus warranting the description "Holy rusted metal".

      God, that took a lot to explain a joke that wasn't funny in a movie that wasn't any good.

      Delete
    5. MelSleeps2/23/2017 9:02 PM

      I remember Batman fighting a shark...that is something different but it was cooler then that.Thanks for splaining.

      Delete
  5. The Architect2/23/2017 10:07 AM

    I am so glad Chris Nolan came along and saved the Batman franchise form its self. I liked Michael Keaton and Jack Nicholson in the first one, but after that, it jumped a truck full of sharks, driven by a shark over a bed of sharks.

    Also, I'm sure OP smelled or some other such nonsense.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown2/23/2017 4:06 PM

      His batmobile lost a wheel.

      Delete
    2. The Architect2/23/2017 4:42 PM

      @ Bananas - No comment for Mista J? It's a Batman themed story for god's sake!

      Delete
  6. Ben Lapointe2/23/2017 4:11 PM

    Oh good grief Jared, what a clickbait. I was dreading/hoping for the Chunky Horse guy to strike for a THIRD time

    ReplyDelete
  7. C.Lee2/17/2020 3:39 PM

    I love Batman and Robin. I had such a huge crush on Robin when I was a kid.

    ReplyDelete

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