Story Sent in by Francine:
Simon loved to talk about himself. Our entire first date that's all he did. When I say he didn't ask me a thing or seem at all interested in me, I mean that literally. It was like he had a scripted two-hour long monologue prepared and boy did he deliver it. He was really cute so it was a shame. He was also nice enough to pay for dinner. Even so, I didn't plan to go out with him again.
He then sent me an email the next day apologizing up and down for "monopolizing the conversation." He said he always blabbed on when he was nervous and that he didn't mean to yap as much as he did. It was a nice message to read and since he was so conscious of the issue I decided to take him up on a second date.
He took me to a Chinese restaurant, sat down across from me, and asked, "Ready?"
I asked, "For what?"
He took a deep breath and then launched into the exact same speech that he had given me on our first date! Where he was born, his favorite childhood food, his least favorite childhood food... I thought it was a joke at first but he was saying the exact same thing, verbatim! I even remembered certain parts and was able to say them before he did.
Finally I cut in and said, "Why are you doing this?"
He said, "Sorry. I told you I tend to blab when I'm nervous," and then he launched right back into it. I drew the date to a hasty close and we didn't go out again.
That speech gets him laid 5% of the time. So, he just needs to recite it 20 times...
ReplyDeleteThat's it?He was a babbler?Back in the dating game I would have given my collection of rubber band balls away for a babbler instead of some of the nut cases I had the luck to run into.I think OP missed out on a chance to be more straight forward with Simon.A little bit more patience and with time he could of felt more relaxed with you.You should of just stopped Simon from the get-go instead of listening to his life's story over again.You should have plainly said that it was now "your turn" to talk.Perhaps he was waiting for you to add something to the conversation or to say something about yourself.You knew this nervous tick about him and should of helped him out by taking charge of the conversation and show him how you like to communicate.Sometimes you just have to interject and jump in the conversation with babblers.You could of shut Mr. cutie pie up with kisses.Ok remember that next time,cute babblers get kissies.
ReplyDeleteHe was a robot. He only had one program and goddamnit, he was going to run it.
ReplyDeleteBananas would have given him a chance. She likes guys that are robotic, in bed.
Deleteprogrammable boyfriends never leave you ;)
DeleteYou can dabble with my code anytime, Bananas... <3
DeleteJMG... are you on a 7th Heaven kick lately? (Noticing the Simon/Ruthie renames)
ReplyDelete