Story Sent in by Mike:
I jogged on the same local path for a couple of years and that's how I met Ruthie. We exchanged a few words, then started jogging together, then I asked her out to dinner.
I thought I was really clear on the "dinner" part so I was surprised when she arrived in front of the restaurant in her jogging attire. She ran up to me and jogged in place. She asked, "Are we not jogging tonight?"
I said, "I thought we could have dinner. I definitely asked you out to eat."
She kept jogging in place and said, "Oh. I thought you just wanted to meet here and then jog. I'm all ready to jog."
I said, "It's not a formal place so you can come in and eat wearing that. Or I can wait for a bit if you want to go home to change."
She said, "I thought we were going to jog. I'm all psyched up to jog," she said, and then started jogging away while still talking to me, "I thought we were jogging tonight, I wasn't aware we were having dinner..." but she trailed off. It was as if her mouth wanted to stay and talk but her legs carried her off as she spoke. I thought that perhaps she was heading home to change and so I waited there for a bit. When she didn't show up after a half-hour I went home.
Forever after, I never saw her on the jogging path again.
"Forever after, I never saw her on the jogging path again."
ReplyDeleteBecause I killed her.
He never saw her on the jogging path again.
DeleteHis basement, chained to the wall and being fed cat food on the other hand...
At least that's a quality, high-protein diet.
DeleteFancy Feast. Nothing but the best for his victims.
DeleteIf this was an attempt by the date to avoid making things weird, well that didn't work. Of course, OP's narrative is (as always) self-serving, absent him asking for a date in a really ambiguous way, it is hard to imagine this happening. I mean, he had known her for a while and she did not seem crazy. I have a lot of questions.
ReplyDeleteOP obviously was not clear in his attempt to ask her out.
ReplyDelete"...as if her mouth wanted to stay". Dream on, no. Her mouth, her actions, and her words were trying to encourage OP to run with her.
But he stayed and waited? She was very clear she was going on a run, not interested in dating OP.
three scenarios:
ReplyDelete1: She had second thoughts about the date afterward and thought she could bluff her way out of it because she thought ditching him would be worse than what she did.
2: She really did think they were going to jog either because she didn't understand or forgot, and was way too embarrassed to handle the situation and went so far as to job somewhere else so she'd not have to face the guy she made yourself look a fool in front of.
3: Birch be cray cray
yes. the third scenario is that Birch trees are crazy. not her. and certainly my autocorrect
DeleteBananas, are YOU a jogger? Cuz you've been running through my mind all day...
DeleteRunning is for people with time and energy. and motivation. and less self-doubt. oh god what am I doing with my life?
DeleteShhhhh.....Shhhh. There there. *hugs Bananas and strokes hair gently* You're an internet commenter, which is a rich and fulfilling life. Look at the company you're surrounded by. There's Steve.....wait, bad example. There's.....huh....on second thought, what are you doing with your life!?
DeleteThat's what I've been asking you this whole time... you need to ditch your man, and come with me. We can live with Jared and have lots of comment sex. He can feed us Fancy Feast.
DeleteYou should be so lucky.
DeleteI'll settle for Meow Mix.
Delete*Steve does a mic drop*
DeleteBut I can still chain you guys to the wall?
DeleteOnly for you Mistah Jay ;)
DeleteAnd Ruthie ran.She ran so far away.She just ran.She ran all night and day...to another jogging trail without dinner expectations.
ReplyDeleteSo I just started runnin'...
Delete