Two Sheds

(It's winter! Go see a movie! Should it be La La Land? Check out my spoiler-free review on this week's Jared's Inkwell! -JMG)

Story Sent in by Sly:

It was the first and only time I ended up at Brooke's apartment. As soon as I walked in she handed me both a hairnet and a shower cap. She explained, "I hate finding random hair everywhere. Would you mind wearing these while you're here?"

It was a bright, floral shower cap and I felt silly wearing it. But I kept it on to make her feel comfortable. When I went to use her bathroom she warned me, "Keep the shower cap on!" as if I'd for some reason take it off while urinating.

I wondered if she was just obsessive-compulsive about cleanliness, but I can't say that her apartment was in super-clean shape. We ate dinner and then sat down together on her couch to watch a movie. But every few minutes she'd reach over and tug the shower cap down a bit further on my head like she was afraid it would flap off of my noggin at any moment.

Finally I told her, "I think it's not going to move. Really."

I didn't mention that she wasn't wearing any sort of protective headgear herself, although maybe she was okay with her own hair. At one point during the film I reached for her hand but she pulled away and said, "You have hand hair."

I asked her hypothetically, "What if I shaved my hand?"

She said, "Or if you wore a glove that would also be okay."

I didn't plan to see her again but after the date she wrote me an email in which she said that she felt comfortable enough with me such that the next time I came over to her place, I'd be welcome to "shed wherever I wanted." Thanks but no thanks.