Story Sent in by Kevin:
Trish took out an orange at lunch and asked me if I minded that she sucked on it. I told her it was fine and so she just kind of put it in her mouth and just... well... sucked it. She didn't peel it or bite it or eat it. She just kept it there like a giant pacifier. She took it out to talk but otherwise just kept it there.
"What's with the orange?" I asked her.
"It's a security thing. Like Linus's blanket in Peanuts."
"Oh. Wasn't he a little kid though?"
"I just do it, okay?"
Do it she did. And it was our last time out together.
I think Trish was trying to show off her mad sucking skills but it went over ops head.Op neglected to ask for the juicy details so we will never know if the the night could of been a bit more appealing.Orange is the new banana,duh!
ReplyDeleteOrange you glad for Tinder?
DeleteIt-citrus-ting you bring up that seedy app. There's no zest or substance there, it's all pulp.
DeleteI don't think I can squeeze any more out of this comment, but just maybe, if I concentrate....
She spent the entire date sucking on a big ball folks. Do your own jokes.
ReplyDeleteGuys have balls. HA! Wait, Dammit I think I did it wrong.
DeleteThank you for your service. I have not the time nor discipline to form my own ball sucking jokes.
DeleteI would have told her that I'd vitamin C her later!
ReplyDeleteKevin, how are you ever going to find your Manic Pixie Dream Girl if you don't find little quirks endearing?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteDamn you, I had to read them all.
DeleteBananas is MY MPDG...
DeleteI just can't quit you, Steve đź’•
DeleteArchie - I regret nothing.
ReplyDeleteIf you like that one you should read Denny's twitter account. I dunno who writes that thing but he's high as balls. Always good for a laugh.