Hark, the Herald Angels Cling

(Thinking of seeing La La Land? Check out my spoiler-free review on this week's Jared's Inkwell! -JMG)

Story Sent in by Rashad:

I took Pauline out to dinner and then we walked together down the street. She took my arm and asked, "Are we always going to be together?"

I joked, "At least for the next few minutes." It was our first date and hearing such a question from anyone (regardless of gender) is a little creepy.

She grabbed my arm tighter and said, "I want to be together always and always and always with you."

Hoping to diffuse the situation I said, "You probably wouldn't adhere to that if you joined me in the bathroom."

She said, "I would. I'll hold your hand while you go. I don't care."

It was at this point that I decided I didn't want to be on the date any longer. I let the conversation go on for a little bit and then I said, "Oh! I forgot that I have to be up really early tomorrow. I should probably go soon."

She said, "I won't join you in bed yet but I can hang out at your house and take care of it while you're at work..."

I began, "Uh..."

But she cut in, "But is it work you're going to early tomorrow? Or is it someone else? If it's someone else I'll kill her and myself. You'll be alone. You'll be alone!"

I said, "It's work. There's no one else. But I really have to go. Like right now."

I was somehow able to convince her that I'd be in touch again very, very soon. Once we parted I blocked her number and email on everything as soon as I could and thankfully she never showed up to my house.