Story Sent in by Marco:
Marie and I were at a local cafe. Neither of us were too hungry so we agreed to split a sandwich.
The sandwich arrived whole and I cut it in half to the best of my ability. I gave her her half and she gave me a look. She said, "You're taking the bigger half. That's classy."
I didn't even realize that I had done that. The halves looked pretty equal to me. But I didn't care either way so I gave her my half and took back the one I had given her.
"Seriously?" she asked.
"What's wrong now?"
She said, "You still have the bigger half."
I told her, "I gave you one half. You said I had the bigger half. Then I gave you mine and now that one's bigger? They can't both be the bigger half."
She took her sandwich half and started eating it. "Whatever. Be greedy," she said.
But I wasn't letting go of this. "You just said both halves were the bigger half. Are you trying to pick a fight?"
"You took the bigger half! It doesn't matter."
"Clearly it does."
She threw down her half on her plate and said, "Now I won't have any of it! Happy?" and she took off.
I ended up eating both halves. Yum.
Apparently someone was hungry.Hungry for companionship.Hungry for sex.But the hunger for food conquered over all.And in the end,one hunger was satisfied.The morale of this story is that when a woman say's she is not really hungry,it means she's really hungry.Never share food with a woman.They will eat most of it.You ate that sandwich like a boss op.Sure,it had bite marks on it and possible lipstick stains but never the less you ate it like a boss.You owned that sandwich.And no crazy woman could every take that away from you.Stay gold...
ReplyDeleteI regret to inform you that as Bananas' Field Agent, I can only grant you 5/7 for this post, due to lack of spaces between sentences.
Deleteyes quite funny, but spaces are ideal.
DeleteI like her writing style!I think it's trendy.Mayhaps Steve you have TOO MANY spaces.Look at me, typing like a boss.Gotta OWN it!
DeleteAlso, OP took a bite of the sandwich before offering her the other half.That is how he did that.Very clever.
spacesAREoverrated
DeleteWell, she added a couple extra in "nevertheless", so there's that.
DeleteDid not realize I typed that many words to construct more then one paragraph.Boy,do I have egg on my face...
Deleteoh,you were perhaps speaking of my use of ellipsis dots?They are...groovy.
DeleteObviously you didn't follow the pre-dinner ritual and this upset your date.
ReplyDeleteWhy's it gotta be brothers with chicken and waffles??
DeleteThis would have never happened to Joey - Joey doesn't share food
ReplyDeleteDidn't your mom teach you? If you cut the cake, the other person picks the piece. But never date a person who doesn't understand math.
ReplyDelete45% of Mr agrees with this, and the other 70% just wants a sandwich.
DeleteI guess she thinks size is important?
ReplyDeleteShould have offered her a Snickers first.
ReplyDeleteShould have offered her a Snickers first.
ReplyDelete