But Is It a Man?

Story Sent in by Marni:

Tom picked me up for our date at my house with a small bouquet of flowers and a half dozen mylar balloons. One of the balloons said, "It's a boy!" another said, "It's a girl!" another said, "Congrats, grad!" and another said, "I'm sorry."

"What's the occasion?" I had to ask him.

He said, "I thought you'd like them. Plus they were on sale. They're festive. Ready to go?"

I thought it was kind of funny until we actually had dinner. He pointed to the vegetarian options on my menu and said, "Would you mind going veggie for the night? Those entrees are usually a lot cheaper."

I was likely going to order a vegetable entree anyway but all the same I decided to have some fun with him. I asked him if he wanted to order appetizers. Maybe chicken wings or...

"No!" he said a bit too firmly. Okay then.

The check came and he hemmed and hawed about it quite a bit before finally paying. I offered to pay but he rebuffed me. So at least that was thoughtful.

When he dropped me back off at my house he said, "I think I might have given you one of the balloons by accident. Would it be okay if I had one back?"

I asked, "Which one?" thinking that he might have legitimately meant to give a particular (and apropos) balloon to someone else.

"Any of them," he said.

I laughed, went inside, and came back with the "It's a boy!" one. As I put it into his car he said, "I figured you'd choose that one. Good night."

He took off and I never saw him again.