Any Other Name

Story Sent in by Marquis:

I was in the midst of a conversation with Maria at a first date dinner when she stopped talking abruptly and stared into space.

"Maria? Are you okay?" I asked.

She said, "Yes. I'm fine. Sorry. Could you call me Enid from now on?"

"Enid?"

"Yes."

"O... kay."

We went on talking. It was as if nothing at all had changed aside from her name. But things just felt weirder. I thought maybe it was a multiple personalities thing but she referred to things she had just said a minute before as "Maria" and so she clearly was the same person. Maybe it was just a one-time thing.

But it wasn't. Less than five minutes later she interrupted something I said with, "Can you call me Allie?"

"Allie?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Just call me Allie from now on."

So Maria/Enid/Allie and I went on talking and our food arrived at which point she told me, "Sorry to do this: can you call me Claudia?"

I asked, "What the hell is going on? Is this for real?"


"It is! It is, it is! I swear to God it is. Last time. I promise. Claudia. Please."

I did my best to enjoy dinner with whoever the hell it was with whom I was eating. A few minutes later she asked to be called Josephine. Then Carla. Then Marla. Then April.

I couldn't handle it anymore. I brought dinner to an end, made sure we split the check, and was out of there faster than you could come up with another name.