The Plague of Flies

Story Sent in by John:

I thought it would be a fun first date to have a picnic on one of the first nice spring days. Angela loved the idea and so we both prepared food and met in a park.

What I didn't anticipate (and likely should have) was the amount of flies. Before we even broke out the food it was obvious that we'd likely have to eat inside a car or something similar. To me it wasn't a big deal but Angela was adamant about eating outdoors. "It's such a nice day. We should still eat outside."

I was swatting flies with both hands in every direction. She opened a container of salad and offered some to me. The flies really were everywhere. They flew around my eyes, my ears, and they were very interested in the salad. I said, "Close it! They're gonna get into it!"

Angela just kept eating away with the flies everywhere. I had brought homemade hummus, celery, and carrots and she took the container from me and opened it. The flies were all over it but she just ate like they weren't there at all. They were landing on the food and it didn't seem to bother her.

"Aren't you hungry?" she asked.

My appetite was gone. I swung my arms around to shoo the flies away from myself and the food. I said, "The flies have gotten into everything. Can we relocate?"

She said, "It's just nature. I don't get what your problem is. Nature is nature." She ate more of the food. The flies were everywhere on it. I spent the rest of lunch swatting them away and not eating at all.

When lunch was over Angela said, "How about a walk?" but I was done. I said, "I'm going inside somewhere. You're welcome to join me."

She replied, "It's such a nice day. I think I'll just stay outside. Toodles!" and she went on her way.

Me? I couldn't run indoors fast enough.