Please Send That One In

Story Sent in by Paul:

I was out on a first date with Elaine and we were chatting pretty casually. We talked about dating itself and she spilled this bombshell: "I went on a date with Lucifer last month. As in, the devil himself."

"It was that bad?" I asked with a grin.

She said, "I mean it was an actual date with the actual devil. Like from hell."

Playing along, I said, "Was it a hot meal, at least?"

She shuddered. "Don't joke. I barely escaped with my soul intact. He was the handsomest guy I've ever seen and it wasn't until about an hour into it that I realized who he really was."

"Christian Grey?"

"He made fire appear in his hand and it didn't burn him. Then he got even more attractive and asked me if I wanted to 'join' him at his 'home.' I knew what that meant and I turned him down flat."

I said, "That's quite a story. What drugs were you on?"

"I wasn't on anything! He was the actual devil and I barely escaped! I mean, I'm seriously worried that my soul is somehow marked or something."

I said, "He'll never give up. Once he wants something, he always gets it."

She grew pretty wide-eyed nervous at that but said nothing. I pointed to an item in the menu. "Their pasta is excellent, here. They make their own sauce."

She didn't speak too much for the rest of dinner and I was only too happy to let this one go.

*

(I thought about titling this one, "Drop Her Like She's Hot," but I stand by my decision. -JMG)