Mask for Any Tune

Story Sent in by Bill:

Before I met Carly in person she asked me via email if she should bring her gas mask. I didn't know what she meant and I asked her, but she never responded and so I went into the date with a question or two.

We met in a park and she actually showed up with one of those vintage rubber gas masks. I asked her why she had it and she said that she had found a way to play it like an instrument. She put it on and made a thbbt sort of sound, like someone spitting into a bottle. It didn't sound much like music but she kept at it for a good long while.

Finally I said, kidding around, "I'm sure you'll master it someday."

She said, "I'd rather master it now. Practice makes perfect." She went back to it and wouldn't stop. It sounded like an alligator trying to turn itself inside out. Passersby glanced at us. She was sort of making a scene.

After another while, I suggested we go for lunch. She said, "I just vowed that I wouldn't eat until I mastered the gas mask. You can go grab something and come back, if you want."

I went to grab something and didn't return. She's probably dead.