5/10/2016

Fuel Me Once, Shame on You

Story Sent in by Susan:

One hot summer evening, Larry and I went out together. I picked him up at his apartment and we went out for a night on the town. We had a good dinner and shot pool.

When I drove us to a gas station to fill up my tank, Larry offered to pump the gas for me. I asked him to fill it.

After a couple of minutes, I heard a weird splashing noise from my back seats and smelled the sharp aroma of gasoline. I looked behind my seat and saw Larry pouring gas directly through my open back window, into my car!

"Stop!" I yelled, scrambling out of the car, "What are you doing!?"

"You told me to fill it!" Larry said, quickly shutting off the nozzle and replacing it.

I yelled, "You idiot! Why would you pour gas into my car?"

"You told me to fill it!"

"My tank, not my car! Are you a moron?"

Larry's face darkened at that. He gave me the finger and stormed away.

I went home and spent the next couple of hours cleaning up his mess. The smell took forever to disappear. Of course, I never saw Larry again.
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11 comments:

  1. Unknown5/10/2016 5:11 AM

    I hope he makes good pies.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Unknown5/10/2016 8:47 AM

    That was an Amelia Bedilia joke, BTW

    ReplyDelete
  3. Steve5/10/2016 9:37 AM

    OP dropped the ball on this one. She SHOULD have had sex on the gas-infused backseat, while the twin watched. Twice.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Jason5/10/2016 9:57 AM

    How did that EVER get out of the upholstery?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Unknown5/10/2016 10:12 AM

    His future is being a stay at home dad.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Unknown5/10/2016 10:46 AM

    Amelia Bedilia was a character in a series of children's books about the shenanigans of a maid who worked for a rich couple and was a tremendous literalist. For instance, if you said "I'm all tied up", she'd come to your house with a knife to cut you out.

    The couple would get annoyed and want to fire her, but her saving grace was she made fantastic pies, and with one bite they'd forget why they wanted to fire her.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Unknown5/10/2016 11:00 AM

    steve. go read Amelia bedilia right this instant. you call me young and you never read this amazing classic?!? outstretchedwings, you are my hero

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Steve5/10/2016 11:07 AM

      Steve never read children's books. He went right to Chaucer and Sartre...

      Delete
    2. Unknown5/10/2016 5:54 PM

      you must have been the life of every childhood party

      Delete
  8. Ben Lapointe5/11/2016 2:38 AM

    His joke backfired since it could have caused a fire in the back...

    ReplyDelete

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