4/15/2016

Bitches Crazy

Story Sent in by Brent:

I met Christine online and we both connected over our dogs. I have a pure-bred red setter and she had a really cute little mutt named Mayzie. We chatted for a week before I asked her if she wanted to walk our dogs around a local park that weekend.

Christine was sweet and friendly enough at first, and our dogs seemed pretty happy together. But as we walked on and on, Christine became colder and shorter with me and I had the sense that there was really something wrong.

"What's wrong?" I asked her.

"Nothing."

It was like that for a little while until she stopped talking completely. Finally I put my foot down and said, "I know something's up. What's the problem?"

She snapped, "Your stupid damn dog thinks it's better than my Mayzie."

"Come again?"

"Your dog thinks it's better! Just because it's a pure-breed doesn't mean that she's any better than my Mayzie. She's making my Mayzie feel bad and it needs to stop."

I said, "Okay. How is my dog making Mayzie feel bad?"

She yelled, "Your dog is looking at my Mayzie funny and walking all hoity-toity in front of my Mayzie. I can tell! She's making my Mayzie feel bad."

"Okay... can we take a moment and step back from the crazy?"

"We're not CRAZY. We're leaving!"

The crazy girl scooped up poor Mayzie and I never saw her again.
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6 comments:

  1. Duck4/15/2016 3:51 AM

    It could have been worse. In Christine's warped mind, Mayzie could have told her that now's the time to begin the murder spree they spoke about.

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  2. Unknown4/15/2016 8:04 AM

    I think she was confusing your dog with a cat...

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  3. Unknown4/15/2016 8:22 AM

    I think Christine was projecting her own inferiority complex on Mayzie. Pretty sad when you're outdone by a dog.

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  4. Unknown4/15/2016 9:26 AM

    Are you sure your dog wasn't the bad date?

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  5. Unknown4/15/2016 9:51 AM

    By red setter does he mean Irish setter? If so, that thing has no right putting on airs - those dogs are dumber than a box o' Snausages.

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  6. The Architect4/15/2016 11:18 AM

    I love that OP threw down the "C" word. You know when you let that one go around someone like his date, that shit is over! She went home and shared a glass of wine with her dog saying "I know right!? Can you believe he called me crazy Mayzie?" Then she answers herself in a dogie voice "Christine, you are the sanest person I know. And I'm a dog, so I would know."

    ReplyDelete

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