3/23/2016

Rejected Super Hero?

Story Sent in by Daisy:

Very early into my date with Chris he told me, "You should know: I'm really horny. It's a hormonal thing."

All I could say was, "Okay. Just keep it in your pants for tonight."

"No promises," he said. Not exactly inspiring confidence.

We had a few drinks at a pub after which he said, "I just want to get you drunk to take advantage of you. I hope that's okay."

"It isn't. Can you just tamp it down? Please?"

"Trying to, here."

Once we were done at the bar he asked me if he could bring me to his car. Or as he put it, "I need some sweet, sweet release."

I had my go-to excuse at the ready: "I'm sorry. I'm just getting over a cold and I should probably take it easy."

He said, "Then I have good news. I can cure you with my wonder-dick."

"No, thanks."

"But it has the power to heal."

"No. Thanks."

Last date.
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13 comments:

  1. Unknown3/23/2016 4:20 AM

    Should have left after that comment about wanting to take advantage of you. Seriously creepy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dan3/23/2016 7:29 AM

      Or she should have stayed even longer.

      Delete
    2. Steve3/23/2016 8:35 AM

      They each had "a few drinks" at the pub... why leave when you can drink on someone else's dime? Because, free drinks.

      Delete
  2. Unknown3/23/2016 8:02 AM

    You missed out on a miracle. Shame on you op. If that guy truly had a wonder dick, you could have born witness to his rise to glory. That or had really unsatisfying car sex with a stranger that stopped developing in grade school.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Unknown3/23/2016 8:34 AM

    Was your date Zapp Brannigan by any chance?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Steve3/23/2016 8:46 AM

    My wonder dick only cures laryngitis...

    ReplyDelete
  5. The Architect3/23/2016 11:36 AM

    He's the one they call "Doctor Feel Good".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Unknown3/23/2016 4:16 PM

      That has got to be one of the most terrifying things I've ever seen, and I know what my college loans total to.

      Delete
    2. The Architect3/23/2016 4:32 PM

      But you can't stop looking at it, right? Like a train wreck, or your father stumbling around drunk wearing your mother's underwear. That's a thing that's happened to other people too, right?

      Delete
    3. Unknown3/23/2016 6:00 PM

      I learned two terrible things that day: my father cann't hold his tequila, and my mother is a brony that loves thongs.

      Delete
    4. The Architect3/24/2016 7:58 AM

      You're my hero! Let's cry together under a rainbow.

      Delete
  6. Ritchie P4/06/2016 2:03 AM

    "You should know: I'm really horny. It's a hormonal thing."

    And the date is over...... NEXT!

    ReplyDelete

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