Story Sent in by Monica:
It should have been a red flag when Elias made a few too many comments about how "hot" I looked in my profile photos. I thought he was just being complimentary but I found out that he had some odder intentions.
When we met over a lunch date and sat down, he handed me a folder. Inside were some black and white images of bikini and lingerie models... all with my head Photoshopped on. What made it really creepy was the fact that in the images, my head was blown up to at least twice its normal size. So he essentially handed me photos of a half-dozen scantily-clad models with my twice-its-regular-sized head.
I couldn't wait to hear the explanation for this, and he didn't disappoint. Sigh.
He said, "I thought you'd want to see how beautiful you could be."
"With my head this gigantic?"
He laughed and said, "Artistic license."
"I see. I don't think this is really going to work out."
"Why not? I was just kidding about the head thing. Lighten up." He raised his voice a little, which made me decide to do what had to be done.
Acting my best I said, "I'm sorry. It's just been a rough day. I had some bad news this morning. I'm just going to run to the bathroom but I'll be right back."
"Stay," he said.
"I'll be right back," I assured him, already on my way up.
I wasn't right back. Ever.
You didn't stay for his head inflations? You could have been his little chibi! Your loss op
ReplyDeleteAnd then Elias tucked his murder kit more deeply into his pocket to use another day. This one's head was much too small anyway.
ReplyDeleteFor the WIN!
DeleteI didn't know hydrocephalism had its own kinky following.
ReplyDeleteGlad you left, but why switch from "this isn't going to work out" to the lie about "I'll be right back, really!" ? Just own it.
ReplyDeleteMaybe she got a vibe from him that lying would probably be better than telling the truth.
DeleteSome men and women ask why their date makes an excuse and leaves instead of being honest, and after having just read a story about a girl that killed her boyfriend for threatening to leave her I can understand how a lie might feel safer.
ReplyDeleteThat's a real bad case of the dates.
DeleteShe just wanted to keep her own head where it should be perhaps? I agree that lying is usually lame and owning to it is a better option but... This guy was certainly a creep!
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the few times I agree that an escape lie is acceptable. Best to humor crazy - they can pretend you were the nut instead and keep their own insane "dignity" while you make a beeline to safety. (You can tell it's serious when the OP doesn't stay to guzzle down their wine)
ReplyDeleteHe must have been really into those old Steve Madden commercials...
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