But My Closet's Packed With Lingerie

Story Sent in by Roger:

I had what could be called a good first date with Emma. I took her out to dinner and a local charity dance. I think she had fun. At the end of it, she even said, "You'll call me, right?" Right!

I called her and left a message. When I didn't hear back from her I texted her. She called me back at once, and I had hoped it was to plan a second date.

Instead, she asked me, "Roger, did you go through my dresser?"

I had no idea where she lived, much less where her dresser was. I told her, "Even if I knew where your dresser was, I wouldn't go through it."

She said, "It's just I found it ransacked. Half my stuff is gone, and you're the only guy I've been on a date with in the past month. So..."

I couldn't follow her logic. I said, "I'm sorry. I didn't take your stuff or go through it."

"Are you lying to me?"

"No."

"You are. I want my stuff back. Now." She hung up. I half expected a letter to arrive from her attorney sometime over the next week, but it didn't and I never crossed paths with Emma again.