👫➡️💩

Story Sent in by Jeanette:

James seemed smart in my first several interactions with him over a dating website. But I noticed that when we transferred the conversation to text, he was an emoji maniac. He'd write: "How are you??? 😇😉😊🙂🙃😗😙😚"

I guess it wasn't too bothersome at first but it was every freaking text. I'd write, "How was your day?"

He'd reply, "😸😹😻😼"

I'd say, "I don't know what that means."

He'd write back, "👖👖👖👖👖"

I responded, "I don't know what five pairs of pants means. Can you speak English?"

"Sorry. I had a great day!!! Did you?"

"I did. Stressful. But I think I'm on the short list for a promotion! But I'll probably have some late nights there over the next two weeks."

"👳🏾💥👳🏾"

"Uh. Okay..."

"I'm excited for you! 🦃💩"

"Thanks I think. You mentioned wanting to meet up this Saturday? How's your afternoon looking?"

"👉🏿👌🏿"

"What? Can you just switch to English?"

"You need a better sense of humor! Let's hang out Saturday!"

He toned it down with the emojis for the rest of the week but it was still exorbitant. We arranged to meet at a local cafe that Saturday.

I made it there before he did and after a while it was clear that he was going to be late. I texted him, "I'm here!"

He wrote back, "I'll be a little late. On my way!!! 🆘"

I wasn't sure how to read his "SOS" emoji. I therefore wrote back, "Everything okay?"

He replied, "Yep! 👎🏽👎🏽👎🏽"

Three thumbs down. Hmm. Okay. I decided to take his word for it that everything was fine.

After waiting a while longer I wrote, "Seriously, are you okay? It's been a half hour."

He texted, "Yes! Sorry!!! I'm coming!!! 🙎🏽👊🏾☠"

Something was really wrong, here. I was in a public place but I suddenly had a bad feeling and I didn't want to meet him anymore. I texted him, "I'm going home. Maybe next time."

A normal guy probably would've called at that point but he texted, "🖕🏽☠☠☠☠☠"

I texted, "🚔" and blocked him on my phone and on the dating website. I'm pretty sure I did the right thing.