Cape Rear

Story Sent in by Rob:

I was out at a pretty crowded bar with Susan when it became suddenly and unavoidably clear that someone nearby smelled like butt. I moved with her to an open booth but the smell traveled with us.

At first I was terrified that the butt-smell was coming from me, but I went to the bathroom and ruled that out. That plus the fact that the smell was still hanging in the air when I returned led me to conclude that Susan herself was the likely source.

I grinned and bore it for most of the date and it was otherwise uneventful. But as the evening wound down she excused herself to run back to her car, promising me she'd be right back. I watched her leave, then I watched her re-enter and head right for the bathrooms.

When she finally returned to the booth she sat and passed a small packet of baby wipes across to me. "Want one?" she asked.

"No thanks," I replied. I had washed my hands earlier when I had used the bathroom.

"I use them exclusively. They're good for your hands and your ass," she said.

Now that she mentioned it, the hair-curling aroma had been replaced with a lemony-scented-hair-curling aroma. She expounded, "When I don't have time for a shower after work, these babies are my go-to." She kissed the packet and pocketed them. I was glad that she took some interest in cleanliness. I was pretty grossed out by that point and was pleased to end the date.