Hey, This Coffee Tastes Funny

(My friend Miriam is a producer. She's awesome. She's producing a short film that has strong women and ass-kicking. Click here to check it out on IndieGoGo! -JMG)

Story Sent in by Margaret:

After some back-and-forth messages, Jason and I agreed on pizza for our date. The meal itself went pretty well, and we had a good conversation.

After dinner we went to a coffee shop. Instead of sitting down to continue our talk, Jason browsed the shelves of mugs and bagged coffee that the store had for sale. He paced back and forth over and over until finally glancing at the baristas and then turning back to the shelves to stuff a bag of coffee down his pants.

He then took me by the arm and ushered me to a table. "Act natural," he said.

"What are you doing? Don't steal!"

He shushed me and sat me down. "You don't want them to hear."

"Put it back!"

He sat down and adjusted his coffee-filled pants. "They're a big corporation. They can lose a bag of coffee."

"That's seriously unattractive. Put it back."

He said, "Relax. Just think of all the coffee we can have together."

I stood up. "If you don't put it back, I'm going to tell them."

He laughed and said, "It's too late. It's already been down my pants."

I strode to the counter and he said, "All right! All right! Just sit down."

I turned back to him as he slithered back to the shelves, checked to see if the baristas were looking, and put the crotch-coffee back.

When he returned to the table, he tried to carry on with a normal conversation, but I was ready to go. After a couple of minutes I ended the date as politely as possible and left. he remained behind.

Of course, he later texted me a photo of the bag of coffee at where I assumed was his house, with a thumbs-up in front of it. Classy.