(Screenwriter Aaron Sorkin had wise words at this past weekend's Steve Jobs screening in NY. What did he have to say? Click here to find out on this week's Jared's Inkwell! -JMG)
Story Sent in by Crystal:
I consider myself pretty playful, but Denise was equal to it. She and I had a great time exploring the wilds of Montpelier, Vermont, both in town and out of it. We showed each other our favorite secret places, eateries, trails, and bookstores. I liked her, she liked me.
One day I woke up to a message slid under my front door. Denise had made a scavenger hunt for me! I followed the directions in the note and found another note in the location it specified. That second note directed me to a third one, and so on. What a fun way to spend a day off!
After a couple of hours (and some pretty tough clues) I found my way onto a hiking trail we both knew. The clues in the last note pointed me towards a certain distinctive tree and I made for it.
When I arrived at it, a little way off the trail, I found a bloody lump of raw meat with a note sticking out of it. It was gross, covered with flies, and smelled horrible. I picked out the note as carefully as I could and opened it.
It read, "THE END," and nothing more.
No happy surprise. No Denise. No explanation. Just THE END and meat.
My phone had no signal out there, so I headed back to town and called Denise to ask for some sort of explanation. She didn't answer and I left a message.
When a day had gone by and I hadn't heard back I went to her house to check up on her. She wasn't there and there was no answer at her door. On my way home I called her again and left another message.
When I arrived back at my place, there was another, smaller pile of meat right at my front door. No note. No anything. Just meat.
I didn't call Denise again, opting to wait to hear from her.
I'm still waiting.
It seems your the meat, she thinks you're no good anymore, so you've been discarded. Or this is a really playful girl so hang in there!
ReplyDeleteWow, Omaha Steaks has really gone down hill.
ReplyDeleteWTF? I think the stories have left off being funny and ventured into weird-land.
ReplyDeleteMeat? Really?
You can't have any pudding if you don't eat your meat.
DeleteThat also sounds like a bad pick-up line.
DeleteI don't know. I think meat is pretty funny.
DeleteThat is disgustingly funny. Naturally, I love it!
DeleteI'd call the cops and say you're worried something happened to her. Be pretty awkward when cops show up at her door.
ReplyDeleteHoly crap OP. You really stayed calm amidst destruction. I can tell you I would have handled that differently. At least that sociopath is out of your life, and all you needed to do was handle rotting meat.
ReplyDeleteI don't know that anything can make that better, but here's something to make you smile.
Well if you collect all the meat, you can do neat things with it.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, you should probably feel lucky that she didn't
turn you INTO meat. Seeing as how she apparently has an obsession and all.
We're all already made out of meat.
DeleteI know it's a little late for this one but still worth a look. A short story called They're Made of Meat.
DeleteI'm with you. Sheesh! She sounds PSYCHO to me.
ReplyDeleteWho knows if she'll show up later and do worse?