Can You Leave Again?

Story Sent in by Maureen:

Who wore nice shoes, nice pants, a handsome dress shirt, and ruined it all with a torn black denim jacket that he kept on the whole date? Julian. We were out to dinner together and for some reason I didn't fully understand, he was very, very proud of himself.

"I was gone, but now I'm back!" he said while beaming.

"Where were you?"

"Out of town. But now I'm back and better than ever!"

I didn't really understand what he was talking about. "Where were you? And how long were you gone?"

He said, "I was out of town for a while, but now I'm back to my town. My town, my rules!"

The waitress came by at the that moment to take our drink orders. I ordered a Diet Pepsi. He ordered–

"Do you remember me?" he asked the waitress.

The poor girl shook her head. Julian said, "I'm Julian Blair. This used to be my town. But I'm back, now."

The waitress could only shake her head and repeat her request for his drink order.

He said, "I'll have a beer."

"Which beer? We have a list."

He said, "Any beer."

"How about a Miller?" she asked.

He shrugged. She left. He looked at me, smiled, spread his arms, and said, "I'm back!"

"Where were you?"

He said, "I was out of town, but–"

"Specifically! Where were you and for how long?"

He sighed. "I was at Sawgrass Mills."

Sawgrass Mills is a mall in a nearby city. Not quite an exotic locale. I said, "Yeah? And?"

He shrugged. "That's it. I was there but now I'm back! I was there all afternoon."

"That's it? You were there for an afternoon?"

He nodded vigorously. "But I'm back, now."

I had nothing to say to that. He added, "And better than ever."

I gave up. "An afternoon at Sawgrass will do that."

He nodded again and the waitress delivered our drinks. He toasted me, we drank, he slammed down his beer, and said, "Julian's back!"

I was so very proud of him for being back. But after a whole dinner of hearing (multiple times) how he had woken up that morning, gone to the mall, hung out there for several hours, then went home to shower and then show up for our date, I just didn't see enough to amaze me into a second date.