Your Sister Must Be Thrilled

(A Writer's One Job? Click here to find out on this week's Jared's Inkwell! -JMG)

Story Sent in by Gregory:

Things went bad pretty quickly with Maura. When we sat down to eat she studied her spoon and when the waiter came by she asked for another.

The waiter returned with a second spoon and Maura asked for yet another one after that. "It has spots on it," she said.

I didn't see it closely enough to determine if she was onto something or just plain nuts. When her second new spoon was delivered she inspected it, gave a big sigh, and said, "I guess it'll do."

When our food came, she complained loudly that there was "too much" as if that was a bad thing. And she ate it all anyway!

Toward the end of the date, I paid for the meal and she told me, "There will be no making out tonight or finger-banging."

I told her, "I hadn't planned on doing either."

She replied, "Eww. Okay. Whatever," as if I was supposed to be disappointed that there'd be no finger banging. Trust me: I'd rather finger bang my sister than this Psychiatry Today poster child.

As we left, I noticed her swipe a salt shaker from the table and put it into her purse. Unsurprisingly, that was our only date.