Could've Used Them to Scare Roaches

Story Sent in by Alice:

Before my first date with Gerald he wrote me to ask if I owned a bikini. I told him I did and he wrote back to ask me if I'd wear it on our date.

We were going out to dinner so it didn't seem altogether appropriate. I told him that maybe if we had plans to go to the beach, I'd wear it. Otherwise I'd likely stick with something traditional.

At dinner he asked me if I was wearing the bikini under my clothes. I wasn't! Why would he even ask that? He then asked me if I had brought it with me at all and I told him I hadn't.

Then he asked me if I wanted to go bikini shopping after dinner. He even offered to pay for a new swimsuit. I politely turned him down.

Then he asked me if I thought he'd look good in a bikini. I told him I didn't think so and he became upset. He asked me why I didn't think he'd look good, if I thought he was fat, and what he'd have to do to prove to me that he'd rock a bikini. It was all a bit uncomfortable and I did my best to steer the date to a hasty end.

A few days later he wrote me an email to ask if he could send me photos of himself in a bikini. I didn't write back and I'm grateful that he never sent me the supposed photos.