Knit Wit

Story Sent in by William:

After Christmas, I went on a date with Rhea. She was dressed… oddly. She wore a dark red sweater that looked like 30 kindergarteners all made it at once. It had at least three sleeves and the stitching on it was positively awful. I'd say it looked like someone's first attempt to knit a sweater, but that's an insult to everyone who's ever had a first time knitting a sweater, ever.

She headed me off at the pass. "I know what you're thinking," she said, "My grandmother made it for me for Christmas. She knits me one every year, and it's tradition that I wear it every day between Christmas and New Year's. But she has really bad dementia and she forgot how to knit this year."

I tried to make the best of it. "It's really nice that she can still knit you something."

She replied, "Whatever. I don't want to be mean, but it'll be nice when I don't have to wear what she makes me, anymore."

"You mean after New Year's?"

"Uh, I mean when she's dead."

"Oh."

Only date.