True Invective

Story Sent in by Susan:

Adrian wrote to me on a dating site and we wound up out together at a sports bar. We had a couple drinks and shared some appetizers. We talked for a little bit and then he asked me, "Want to go out to my car and have some fun?"

"No, thanks."

We talked a bit more, ate some more, and then he asked, "How about now? Wanna go out to my car?"

"No, thanks."

"How about the bathroom? We can lock it behind us."

"No, thanks."

We talked a little bit more, then he said, "Wanna give me a slow handy right here, under the table?"

"No, thanks."

He sat back and laughed. "What kind of a woman are you?"

"One with self-respect."

He smirked, typed something into his smartphone, and turned it around to show me a photo of a half-naked woman in black leather, posing provocatively on a wooden chair. I didn't recognize her and I asked Adrian, "That your mom?"

He said, "It's you. I Googled your name and found that."

I said, "She's a platinum blonde, has about 10 years on me, and I've never worn an outfit like that. Try again."

He looked from the photo and back at me about 100 times. He said, "That isn't you? Really? You sure?"

I said, "I'm sure. Did you just walk into this date assuming I was this woman? The first photo you found when you plugged my name into image search?"

He drank down the rest of his beer and said, "I don't even know what you're doing on a dating site. Next time try putting out, bitch." He threw down a $20 and left.

When I went home, I found an image of someone's gross ass and emailed it to him, saying, "This was the first image that came up when I plugged in your name. If you looked this good, I would've done anything you wanted."

No reply. Too bad.