Story Sent in by Melvin:
Mary seemed like a lot of fun and during our first date we ran out in the falling snow to play a bit. She tried to catch snowflakes on her tongue and cried out, "I got one! I got one!" when she caught one.
I followed suit and opened my mouth to catch a few.
"You're doing it wrong," she said.
I caught several all at once and she again said, "No! Stop it! You're doing it wrong!"
I said, "I caught some. Is there really a wrong way to catch snowflakes on your tongue?"
"There is if you're doing it wrong," she chided me. "Let me show you how to do it."
She stuck her tongue out and did it remarkably similar to how I had successfully done it moments before. I then caught a few more.
"No!" she yelled, genuinely upset, "You're doing it completely wrong! If you're going to do it, do it right!"
"I'm sticking my tongue out," I said, "There isn't much I can do to fail at that. We're both catching snowflakes, either way. Can't we both be okay with that?"
"You're doing it wrong! You're doing it wrong!" she said over and over until she exploded into tears.
I suggested we grab coffee and we did. The poor thing never really made it over the crippling emotional distress I inflicted upon her, and we didn't go out again.
Maybe you should have left your symbiote at home. It's 3rd date material.
ReplyDeleteWow OP, if you can't even catch a snowflake right, just imagine how critical she would be during more intimate tongue exercises.
ReplyDeleteShe could probably teach you a thing or two of you'd just follow her lead.
"...I suggested we grab coffee and we did. The poor thing never really made it over the crippling emotional distress I inflicted upon her because this story is clearly fake and nobody would go for coffee with a woman who just threw a tantrum over snowflakes."
ReplyDelete