Knife of Brian

Story Sent in by Brian:

Wanda told me she had a "neat trick" to show me on our date at a steakhouse. She put her hand palm-downward on the table and used her knife to quickly stab at the spaces between her fingers. She was a blur. Clearly she had practiced.

Of course, I was terrified that she'd lose a digit or five, but she was pro. Thing was, she kept on doing it.

"Very impressive!" I told her, hoping to stop the madness.

She took a break for a few seconds, then went right back to it. Seriously. She went at it over and over.

"That's great," I finally said, "You can stop. I'm afraid you'll lose a finger."

She said, "I've been doing this for over 10 years. Trust me: I'll be fine."

It was a first date, but instead of talking to each other and learning more about each other, she just kept doing the knife dance. Our food was served, she took a few bites, then went right back to it. Then another few bites, then more knifing.

For the record, she never messed up once. But she seemed way more into her deadly prowess than she was into me (maybe I should've been a knife?) so I didn't ask her out again.