How I Roll

Story Sent in by Jeff:

In one of our later emails, April asked me out on a date. "When was the last time someone took you out to dinner?" she asked. I couldn't remember, and although I argued that it wasn't at all necessary or expected, she insisted on taking me to dinner and paying the whole tab. Who was I to refuse? I gratefully accepted.

At dinner, we looked through our menus. She asked me what I wanted, and I picked out a soup and a sushi roll that I thought looked good. The north star maki.

"That looks good," April echoed my thoughts.

When the server came to take our orders, April ordered what she wanted. Then she said, "And he'll have the Minnesota maki and a seaweed salad." April then handed our menus to the server and the server took off.

Thing was, I wasn't going to order the Minnesota maki. Or a seaweed salad. I was going to order a soup and the north star maki. For the record, both rolls cost about the same.

"I was going to order a soup and the north star maki. Why did you order me something completely different?"

She said, "Because I'm paying."

That wasn't a real answer, and I patiently awaited further explanation.

She went on, "Because I want you to eat what I order for you. Hello? I'm paying. Remember?"

"Yeah. I didn't realize that obligated me to order certain things. And hello? It would've been nice if you mentioned that when we sat down. Why'd you even ask me what I wanted?"

"Politeness."

I wasn't going to press the issue with further words. When the server came with our food, I asked her, "Could I also have a soup, please?"

"No!" April said, "No soup! I told you."

I continued to press the server. "I'll take a miso soup. Thanks."

The waitress asked us, "Anything else?"

"Cancel that soup," April said.

"Don't cancel it," I said, "I want the soup."

The server, perhaps in a hurry to not be around us any longer (I couldn't blame her) hurried off.

Not long after, she arrived with my soup. April said, "If you taste so much as a drop of that soup, then we're splitting this."

I tasted the soup. It was great.

April said, "And I won't go out with you again."

I drank the whole soup down. Yummy.

The Minnesota roll tasted fine, and I even picked at the seaweed salad. But poor April was curt with me for the rest of the date, and we never ended up out together again.