Sofa King

Story Sent in by Delia:

I had been seeing Richard for just under two weeks when he invited me to his house to watch a movie. When I arrived, he invited me to sit on his couch. I noticed that half of it was devoid of cushions. The half that had cushions was only large enough for a single person.

I asked him, "Where are the cushions for the rest of it?"

He said, "You can still sit on it. The side with the cushions is for me."

I asked, "You want me to sit on a couch without cushions?"

He laughed like I was a stupid idiot and said, "It's my couch. Why would I give you the cushioned side? Get your own couch, if cushions are that important to you."

I asked, "Don't you even have any pillows or blankets I can set up on it?"

He groaned like he was doing me the biggest favor and left the room. He came back with a ratty blanket and tossed it at me. It smelled like cat pee. I threw it to the ground in disgust.

"Hey!" he yelled, "You don't treat my blanket that way! Apologize to it!"

I stared at him like the crazy man he was. He yelled, "Apologize to the blanket!"

I stood up and left on the spot. He called after me, "Hey, you come back here! Hey! Hey! HEY!"

I wish I could warn every woman in the world about this guy.