Darkest Chocolate

Story Sent in by Clara:

James reached out to me over Match.com and we went out for a first date. While at dinner, he pulled out a blue Tiffany box and slid it across the table at me.

I was floored. "You bought me something from Tiffany!?" I was absolutely not expecting such a gesture.

"Just open it," he said.

I did. Within was a thin layer of white tissue paper covered in a sticky brown substance. It smelled like chocolate, but whatever it was had melted all over the inside of the box.

"Oh no!" he said, sounding really upset, "It melted!"

Surprised that he had attempted to give me chocolate in a Tiffany box, I still felt bad. I said, "Oh, I'm sorry. But the thought was really sweet."

He said, "It was in my car all day. Stupid me. It was a chocolate dick."

I thought I misheard him at first. "A chocolate–?"

"Dick. Chocolate in the shape of a man's dick. I'm really sorry it melted."

James and I had flirted, but I hadn't expected something so raunchy or forward.

Then he said, "You can probably freeze it and enjoy your dick, all the same. You can lap it up, like a dog lapping up a man's dick."

I asked, "How would you know if dogs do that?"

"I wouldn't," he snapped, "Here, give it to me. I'll fix it."

I was only too eager to hand the box of melted chocolate back to him. He then stuck his tongue into it and licked the chocolate out, all around it. He said, "See? Now it's like I'm licking a chocolate vagina. It's even in a box and everything."

It sure was. Thanks for the demo, James. And for the one and only date.