Can't Unsmell

(I went to the Austin Film Festival last month and took notes from amazing screenwriters. Read 'em on this week's Jared's Inkwell! -JMG)

Story Sent in by Helena:

Alfred took me out to dinner one night many moons ago. While we were out, I noticed a strange smell that could really only be described as sweaty, nutty, body odor. It came and went as dinner progressed, but when it came, it came on strong.

When the smell slammed me again, I asked him, "Do you smell that? Something stinks."

He laughed and said, "It's me!" He then lifted his shirt to show me that he was wearing a tight black spandex bodysuit underneath his clothes. "I've had this on for a while."

"Why?" I asked, oddly curious.

He shrugged. That was the only answer I received. The smell was definitely coming from that mysterious bodysuit and it wasn't going away.

He was nice enough to pay for dinner. Afterward, he went to hug me goodnight but it was just too strong, that smell of swampy balls. I extended my hand instead. He shook it with a sweaty palm and said, "Guess I'd better go home to wash this thing," and patted his stomach. Guess so. We didn't go out again.