Story Sent in by Jennifer:
Online, John came across as normal. When we first met in person, I still had that impression. Through lunch, that impression remained. I felt pretty comfortable with him. That was, until...
"So," he said just after paying the check, "My place? I have the world's comfiest bed."
It was a sudden departure from the respect and pleasantness he had previously embodied. I replied, "Maybe... some other time?"
Then he nodded at me very slowly and said, "Great! Let's go!" He then stood up and hurried out, way faster than I could follow. By the time I was out of the diner, he was most of the way down the block. Clearly, he didn't want to be followed. I guessed that was his way of saving face or making a graceful exit.
An hour and a half later, he texted me, "That was WONDERFUL. You are GREAT IN BED."
Shortly after, another text: "What movie should we watch? Pick any one you want!"
Then, "Go ahead. Pick any. You are here with me now so pick anything."
He was acting as if I had actually taken him up on his world's-comfiest-bed offer. I could just imagine him arriving home, seducing imaginary me, coming to climax with imaginary me, and now picking out a post-coital movie to watch with imaginary me cuddled up right there, beside him. Real, non-imaginary me had to shiver at the thought of it all.
I didn't write him back, and a little bit later he wrote, "Fell asleep, huh? My poor baby. I'll take care of you. Let me know where you want to go for dinner. ;) "
Then, a little while later, "That's a great idea! I love Marty's. Let's go there. But let's do it again, first!"
I was torn about blocking his number due to the entertainment value. However, after a little bit I decided to block it. It was more sad and creepy than anything else.
Then the emails started.
"I'm here at work, thinking of last night..." and "Maybe after work, you can come over again. ;) "
Had to block him there, too. I guess some people just can't take no for an answer. For all I know, he's still keeping it up, marrying imaginary me, having kids with imaginary me... sleeping in his world's comfiest bed with imaginary me...
Getting into fights with imaginary you. "No, I hate that movie! You always want to watch Bride's Maids! Fine, I'll watch it AGAIN. But this is the last time."
ReplyDeleteAlso "You know I hate your mother. Why you always invite her over, I'll never know. All you two do is fight. You know, you're just like her."
And "Why do you only have guy friends? And why are they always calling you at night? You know, if our relationship weren't so strong, I'd really have to question what you do out at the bars every night after I go to sleep."
And eventually "Fine! Break up with me! See if I care! You can go live with your bitch of a mother and hang out with all your douche bag guy friends! But just so you know, I'm keeping this copy of Bride's Maids!