Story Sent in by Carol:
Paul was really into music. When we spoke online, he asked me all about my favorite musicians. Also, I play three instruments and that fact really seemed to interest him.
When we met in person, he invited me to sit in his car. He played music off his iPod, a playlist of all the music I told him I liked. Well, that was thoughtful.
He then pulled out a small remote control and said, "Wait here a sec."
He stepped out of his car, locked the doors, and closed his door behind him. Then, he hurried over to my side of the car and leaned against my door. He then pumped up the audio so loud as to be unbearable. I yelled at him and pounded at my door.
He held it closed and laughed, "Ha ha ha ha ha ha ho, ho! Eee hee hee hee ha ha ho hoo!" It was the freakiest laugh I'd ever heard. But I had to escape his car. I climbed over to the driver's side to open that door.
Seeing what I was doing, he ran over to the driver's side, presumably to stop me from opening that door. I jolted back to the passenger side, opened my door, and practically fell out of the car.
He ran over to me and grabbed my shoulders. Firmly pushing me back into the car, he said, "Let's get you back where you belong."
I shoved at him and he gave me a shocked look. "What the hell?" he asked, "What's your malfunction?"
"Are you insane?" I asked him. Then he started toward me and I screamed, "Stay away from me!"
He froze as I backed toward my car, which was parked nearby. He stared at me as I drove away. Shortly afterward, he emailed me a selfie of himself staring, expressionless. I don't know if he was high or crazy or both. Either way, I wasn't ever going to see him again.
Plot twist: the playlist of the songs you like is actually the Noriega playlist.
ReplyDeleteArchitect - true story. The dude in the Maxell ad image is my stepdaughter's uncle.
ReplyDeleteJust by writing that, I feel I have invoked the wrath of Chunk Horse.
ReplyDeleteNo. Fucking. Way! Please tell me you have a print of that with his signature. I would name drop like a mo-fo if I knew that guy. All my friends would go "Oh great, here comes Architect. Guess we'll get to hear about how he knows the Maxell guy again." I would have a tee shirt with his picture and the fact that I know him printed up which I would wear. Every day.
ReplyDeleteSeriously jealous my friend. That's like saying "My uncle was Patrick Neigal"
Maybe he wanted to see her elephant-shit-with-thumbtacks face.
ReplyDeleteOr maybe the music made him do it.
I just want to say l have been reading these comments for about a year just to see what architect, tourist, and wolfie have to say lol..
ReplyDelete@ tiingy - <3 Thanks for the love! You should jump in to the cesspool with us! We'll play nice, promise.
ReplyDelete@ Architect - sadly no print with his signature. He was a bit of a rock star at the time, still records and tours. Met him a few years ago, and he was a hermaphrodite. Not fo' realz - I just couldn't tell if he was more of a cunt or more of a prick.
ReplyDelete^ That makes me sad. Never meet your heroes I guess.
ReplyDeleteAlso a correction to my link above. I misspelled Nagel like a moron.