Lunar Eclair

Story Sent in by Lucille:

I had been dating Toby for a little bit when he invited me over to his apartment for homemade dessert by moonlight. When I arrived, he had set up a table and chairs on his balcony. Also, he had made eclairs.

...sort of.

What he served were two bowls of... well... puddles of what looked like liquid yellow custard.

He explained, "They melted a bit in the oven, but they're still good."

I joked, "These are less eclairs and more pudding."

He said, "I followed the recipe exactly. It's not my fault."

I asked, "Was it a pudding recipe?"

"No. Eclairs. It must have been mislabeled."

He sat down across from me with his bowl and he lapped at it like a dog. "This is how they do it in France," he said.

I replied, "I'm pretty sure they don't eat their runny puddings like that in France."

He reminded me, "It's an eclair. It's an eclair."

"Okay."

Then he laughed and said, "No, it isn't. It's just sugar and water and a little bit of flour."

I said, "You invited me over to enjoy a bowl of... sugar water with flour?"

"Oldest Chinese trick in the book!" he said. Neither Toby nor I are Chinese. He finished slurping down his "dessert" and then grabbed mine and sucked it down, as well.

"Want another eclair?" he asked me with a crazy look.

"No thanks," I said, "I think I'm going to go."

"Okay. But I have something for you to take."

He disappeared into his kitchen as I prepared to leave. When he reappeared, it was with a plastic grocery bag half-filled with... fluid.

"Take these eclairs with you," he said.

In a hurry to leave without further incident, I grabbed the bag from him, wished him a good night, and hurried away down the hall.

But I didn't leave. I waited for a little while, then quietly made my way back to his door with the bag of goop. I tied it up and left it against his door, then beat a hasty retreat.

When he contacted me again after that, he made no mention of it. But I never replied to his messages.