Fly Away

Story Sent in by Tim:

I was enjoying a nice first time out to lunch with Connie. We were seated indoors, but there was a fly buzzing around. It didn't bother me too much, and a simple wave of the hand was enough to keep it away from me.

We were on the topic of our favorite type of curry when Connie stopped talking mid-sentence, screamed, flailed, and stood up.

At first I thought she was having a medical emergency.

"It's that fly!" she yelled. "Aaaaaagh!"

She was really scaring me. I said, "I think it's gone. You can sit down, now."

She remained standing, vigilant for another few moments. Then she composed herself and sat down.

All was well for a couple of minutes until she slammed her napkin on the table and pounded at the same spot at least six times. I almost shouted with shock, myself.

"I got it!" she said, then removed the napkin from the table. There was no sign of a fly carcass.

She grumbled a few obscenities to herself, then switched back to non-psycho Connie mode.

Over the course of the rest of the meal, she'd twice lunge and bang her fist against the table as if going for the fly again. Each time she had her top teeth biting her lower lip and a crazy look in her eyes as if she forgot where she was.

I don't believe she ever actually killed the fly. Either way, I didn't ask her out again.