Wherever You Go, Hair You Are

(Below the Belt episode three is up! Check out the final episode of the comedy web series some critics somewhere might be talking about. -JMG)

Story Sent in by John:

Jana informed me on our date that she didn't ever shave her legs. She asked me if it would be a problem. I told her it probably wouldn't.

"Because lots of guys would have a problem with that," she informed me, "Most guys prefer women with shaved legs."

I said, "I'll probably be fine, either way." The very fact that we were even discussing her legs on the first date was pretty hot, to tell you the truth.

"My legs are really hairy," she went on, "Maybe hairier than yours."

I looked around the table at her pants and said, "Let's see, then."

She hiked up a pant leg. Her leg hair was bestial. It was matted and looked as if she had never shaved at all. And she was right. They were hairier than mine.

I was polite, though. I said, "If that's what works for you, then it's fine with me." I try to have an open mind. I then said, "I don't shave my armpits."

"Eww!" she said, "That's one thing I definitely do. Um... would you mind shaving them for me?"

"Why?"

"Because hairy boy-armpits stink."

I asked, "Well, would you shave your legs for me if I asked?"

"Never."

I said, "Sorry. Hairy armpits for you."

For some reason, that made her abundantly mad. She said, "Then no reason to continue this stupid farce!" She slammed some money on the table and took off.

I wasn't sure what I said or did wrong. But since then, my armpit hair has only grown longer and more powerful.