Have You the Brain Worms?

Story Sent in by Victoria:

On my first date with Leroy, he took me to a piano store (we both played) and then we walked in a local park. Throughout, he didn't make much eye contact with me and he fidgeted a lot. I guessed he was nervous or otherwise distracted. He also spoke in a tone that was there barely above a whisper, so I had to ask him to repeat a lot of what he said. As we strolled, the conversation moved in fits and starts.

Suddenly, he stopped walking and looked panicked. He flailed his arms and swung them around like he was suddenly besieged by the itch monster.

It was so bad that it made me panicked, for him. "Leroy, are you all right?"

In reply, he yelled, "A bug's in my shirt!" and he practically ripped his shirt off and ran away topless, whipping at himself with his shirt while spinning and screaming, "Woo hoo hoo hoo hoo hooah, woo hoo hoo hoooaaaagh!" He ran around in circles a few times and ultimately collapsed in the grass.

I shuffled over to him and again asked if he was all right.

He said, "I think it's gone." He then put his shirt back on and asked me, "Want to go to the piano store?"

I said, "We were just there. Remember?"

He took a moment to think about it, then said, "Yes."

We walked on a little bit longer, and then he stopped, kicked off a shoe, and yelled, "A bug's in my shoe!" and then he ran around in screamy hysterics again for a minute. He even grabbed his kicked-off shoe and hit himself in the head with it a few times, for good measure.

When he had collapsed in the grass a second time, I approached him and told him that I had forgotten that I had made plans with my sister (a lie) and had to go.

He said, "Probably for the best. I'd hate for the bugs to attack you, next."

We parted ways. Oh, he was buggin' out, all right...