It's All Relative

Story Sent in by Patrick:

Penny stood me up. The story would end there, but a couple of hours after we were supposed to have met for our first date, she called me up in hysterics.

"Where are you?" she blabbered into the phone, "Where are you?"

"I'm at home," I told her, "What's wrong?"

"What's your address?" she asked, her words tripping over themselves, "What's your address?"

I wasn't about to give crazy girl my home address, so I instead told her to meet me at a pub that I knew would be open late.

My expectation was that she'd stand me up again. Instead, she showed. She looked as if she'd been crying for hours. I asked her what was wrong and she said, "My cousin told me he's in love with me. He wanted me to run away with him to Alaska. I told him that it was sick, that I wouldn't go, but he got mad and threatened to hurt my little brother, and my little brother's been sick and he can't defend himself and my parents won't believe me and... oh, God!"

She sobbed into her napkin. I hugged her and told her that if someone had threatened her or her brother, then she needed to go to the police. She stammered over and over that she couldn't call the police on her cousin, that it would rip the family apart, and so on. It was one of the weirdest things I had ever heard, but she seemed genuinely upset.

After reassuring her and advising her and hugging her for the better part of an hour, she told me that she felt better and that she'd be in touch. It was too much drama for me, and I had already decided that I'd be polite if she again reached out, but there was no way I was interested in pursuing any kind of relationship with her.

I heard from her the very next day. Over the phone, she sounded as normal and happy as could be. It was as if the previous night's drama was all but forgotten. I asked her, "Is everything okay with your family situation?"

She replied, "Oh, yeah. That. It's all good. My mom's fine."

There was nothing at all in any of her angst-ridden statements, the night before, that there was anything to do with her mother. I played along, and I gave her an ambiguous answer about meeting up again, but I haven't spoken to her once from that day to this.