Story Sent in by Versie:
Before we met, Phil asked me what my dream first date would be like. He asked where I'd want to go, what I'd want to do, and even what kind of flowers I liked. I told him all of this information, not expecting him to deliver on it (I thought he was just making conversation).
Imagine my surprise when he showed up with my favorite kind of flowers and we ended up doing everything I told him I'd have wanted to do! He took me to the restaurant I mentioned, we took a walk by a nearby lake, and he even lit a fire in a fire pit and we looked at the stars. All in all a great time, and I was really touched that he planned a time for us to do everything I mentioned. He didn't have to do that.
For our second date, he told me, "You've had your fun. Now it's my turn to do everything that I want. My own dream date." I was expecting different activities, sure. I looked forward to learning more about what he wanted to do, but he kept his cards close to his chest about it.
He took us bowling, which at first I looked forward to as a fun activity. But he took both of our turns. Seriously. He insisted on bowling for both of us the entire time. "It's the only way I get better," he explained, "And also I'm sure to win."
Afterward, he brought us to a grocery store where he bought himself a can of whipped cream and poured some into his mouth before he had even paid for it. He offered me some and I politely declined.
When we left the store, we walked past a line of cars and he kept pointing to each one and asking me, "Does that car's hood look comfortable? How about that one? That one? That one's too small. Ooh, there's a big one. Does that one look comfortable?"
"Why are you asking?" I said.
He replied, "I just want to throw you down and make love to you on a car hood."
I said, "That's very sweet, but I don't think I'd like that just now."
He said, "But it's my date. You said you'd do anything I wanted, just like I did for you."
I had never said that, but I was equal to it. I said, "Well, if I told you that for our first date, I wanted to jump off a bridge together, would you?"
He said, "Screwing on a car hood is much nicer than jumping off a bridge."
"How about we do both on our next date?"
He gave me a funny look and said, "Yeah... maybe."
I'm sure he went home that very night to tell his friends what a crazy girl I was. I went home with my dignity. He never called me again.
This kind of guy crops up from time to time on this site. Tourist will confirm, I'm sure. I did like the OP's suggestion of jumping off a bridge though.
ReplyDeleteThe moment I read "let's do what I want to do", my inner Star Wars nerd screamed "it's a trap!"
ReplyDelete@Archie - it's not just this site: the number of guys that seem to think chix are a vidya game level and there must be some cheat code to make the secks fall out is, in my humble but, errr, expansive experience, on the order of 1:8. Which is why General 'outstretchedwings' Ackbar and every woman reading knew what was gonna happen next.
ReplyDeleteAnd it will keep on happening because 5% of the time it works every time.
I'm actually feeling neutral with this guy. He put in the effort, paid attention to what she wanted, did the research, and made it happen. So I have to put him a peg above the "I bought you dinner and laughed at your jokes now I get sex" guys. However, as Fizziks put it, he was just playing her like a video game level (BTW, another great array of pic/anim links. Where do you get such wonderful toys?).
ReplyDeleteI see this guy trying this routine a few more times, getting frustrated by the lack of results, and then he will go either one of two ways: He will make it a numbers game, asking 100 girls "Do you give head/sex/anal on a first date?" knowing that 1 of them might say yes, or he'll ditch the "game," focus on the dating, and learn to let the sex happen naturally.
For sake of this site and hearing more bad stories, I hope he chooses one path, but for the sake of the dating pool (and humanity in general) I hope he chooses the other.