Story Sent in by Timothy:
In an early email with Ella, we discussed what we thought were our own biggest flaws. She said that her's was that she expected too much from people. She wrote, "I keep expecting people to treat me with decency, but everyone I meet is seriously damaged or deranged or both. My own fault for setting the bar high, I guess."
That was a pretty softball "flaw." If anything, it was more of a "everyone else is flawed" line. Especially after I confessed that I could be both unconfident and impatient. In either case, Ella was human, and I was sure that one way or the other, any flaws on her part would one day become apparent.
I didn't have a long wait. In fact, she unveiled it on our very first (and only) date. While we were looking at menus together at a restaurant, she asked me what I recommended.
I reached over to her menu and pointed at two pasta dishes that I liked a lot. "These are good," I simply said.
She gave me a horrified look and said, "Why would you do that?"
"Do what?"
She reached across the table and slammed a fist down onto the menu I was holding, knocking it to the table. She said, "There was no need to reach across and hit my menu. That was extremely rude and extremely hostile."
"I... what? I just pointed at two dishes I liked. You asked me–"
"Unconfident and impatient. Just like you said. A guy who lashes out like you is probably both of those in spades. Ugh!" she groaned.
I'd swear before any court of law that I very benignly pointed at two dishes on her menu. There was nothing at all aggressive or violent about it. Period. This girl was just a wack-job. Instead of engaging her at her level with denials, I took a step back and said, "Those are the two I recommend. Sorry if you think I did something wrong."
"You did do something wrong. I'm not impressed by this whole macho guy thing. And you can't even see it!"
I saw that I was wasting my time. I excused myself to use the bathroom and I headed off toward them. When I peeked back at the table and saw that she wasn't looking, I left the restaurant.
If you had more confidence, you could've left without sneaking.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it was lack of confidence the way he did it. I am a pretty confident person and I would have sneaked out too. She slammed her fist down on his menu just because he pointed out something on hers. Can you imagine how much of a scene that psycho would have made if she knew he was leaving? No thanks.
ReplyDeleteAsk someone what their biggest flaws are before the first date so you can promptly throw them in their face when you meet in person. Genius!
ReplyDeleteDidn't this guy get the hint when this girl said her biggest flaw was setting her expectations of others too high? She had a totally bloated ego and he still went on the date!
ReplyDeleteBut-but-but Archie, it's like that fairy tale where the entitled princess takes a major crap on that frog, and he struggles thru the turds and emerges on the other side her one true shining prince. If he doesn't, drop trou and repeat.
ReplyDeleteI mean, what are you saying? That she's just a crazypants narcissist?
Op, it not your fault. Ella, thinks that everyone she meets is seriously damaged or deranged when in reality it her, she can't seem to see it in herself so she blames others for her problem.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Sierra - that woman might have started screaming like a maniac - and although I might have said, "Date's over, goodbye!" while zooming by at 20MPH, I don't blame the OP for escaping.
ReplyDeleteOPs fault is that he didn't order a ton of food before he left.
ReplyDeleteShe definitely overreacted--I don't dispute that at all. However, he *did* invade her space, and then followed it up with a non-apology (always annoying).
ReplyDelete