Motion for the Chair

Story Sent in by Frank:

I work in an antique store that carries all kinds of out-there things. Audrey was a notable visitor because she was around my age. Most customers we receive are of an older set. She was looking for a rocking chair and while we didn't have what she was looking for, she and I ended up in long conversation.

We were both artists who liked using found objects, and we even shared a few favorite books. Anyway, she gave me her number and although she lived an hour away, we made a first date happen a couple of weeks later. I was pretty excited about it, as it's a little tough to meet people in my area.

We met at an outdoor cafe with nice wrought-iron tables and chairs. She waited for me to sit down and then she pulled the chair out from under me.

I landed wrong and it hurt. A lot. She cackled and said, "That's for the rocking chair!"

I was pretty furious. "What rocking chair?"

She said, "You didn't have the rocking chair I was looking for in your store, remember? When I first met you?"

I said, "And so you hurt me? What the hell?"

She laughed it off, sat down in her own chair, and said, "Don't be a baby. Stop making a scene."

I stood up and left on the spot. Sure enough, I developed a nasty bruise.

While I didn't see her again, a little less than two years later, I heard that she was arrested for assault on a teacher (news travels fast in my area). So hopefully, maybe a little bit of justice was done after all.