Dog Pee Face

Story Sent in by Scott:

My first date with Sonya happened right after a really bad snowfall. We trudged through a snowy path through a downtown park on our way to dinner and I threw a snowball at her. She responded in kind, and we had a several-minute snow battle.

In the midst of her laughter, she scooped up a handful of gloppy snow that was very clearly yellow. My fun quickly turned to terror. "Please don't–" I started, but she lunged at me and despite my attempt to block, shoved most of it into my cheek.

"Dog pee face! Dog pee face!" she cackled and doubled over in laughter. She looked around and said, "I've got to find more."

It was so gross. I wiped it away, then looked around for some, myself. I didn't find any, but I grabbed a handful of clean snow and said, "I have some for you!"

"No!" she screamed, "Nooooo!" and I smooshed it onto the top of her hat.

Again, this was regular snow that I used. I just wanted to trick her into thinking that I had found yellow snow.

She screamed and whacked at me with both fists and cried and stamped and stomped and screamed again. I wasn't expecting such an explosion and I said, "I was just kidding! I was kidding! It wasn't yellow snow. There wasn't any yellow snow in there. I promise."

She yelled, "It's not fair! It's not fair!" and wiped off her hat again. We continued on in silence to dinner and ate in silence. She looked furious and wouldn't make eye contact with me. I was surprised she even stuck around. We split the check and she left once it was paid. Saddest and weirdest date I've ever been on.