Story Sent in by Melvin:
While we were out on our first date, Kathleen asked me if I wanted to meet her family that night. I told her that I'd be fine meeting them, but I also asked if it would be appropriate to include them on a first date.
"I don't see why not," was her reply.
After dinner, she led me to her car. In her back seat were five seated, plastic, naked dolls. Each doll was exactly the same: blonde, female, and spooky. She introduced each one: "This is Betsy, George, Ralph, Brad, and Maura. My family. What do you think?"
"It's good to meet them," I said, playing along.
She then gave me a big, unexpected hug. "I'm so glad you think so. I was worried," she said, then let go of me. "We're all tired, so we're going home now."
"All right," I said, looking forward to ending the date. Kathleen gave me a nice smile, then waved, entered her car, and drove away.
Crazy, the new normal.
ReplyDeleteWell, that's ONE way to use the carpool lane...
ReplyDeleteThe best "Bad Date Escape Plan" EVAH!!!!!!111!!!!1
ReplyDelete"My mom thinks you're cute! Maybe we can go back to my dungeo...er apartment and I can watch you two make out!"
So I assume that means she lives in her car? That's really kind of sad. I've visualizing an orphan who has nowhere to live and wants a family so badly that she pretends her car (the most significant thing that she owns) is a house and the dolls are her family whom she lives with. :-(
ReplyDeleteLook, the Barbies are just placeholders until CSI gets done restructuring her family from what remains could be recovered. Then she'll need a station wagon to cart about all that taxidermied goodness.
ReplyDelete@Jared - Love love love the title, as you well know :) Makes me feel all warm and slick to have that great me on my first day back to work.
This story is missing a word. It should read "5 seated, plastic, naked, INFLATABLE dolls".
ReplyDeleteNow that's a party.